“The world is your oyster and you are the Pearl. Don’t confine yourself with limiting beliefs” – Tony T Robinson.
Take a moment to think about your limiting beliefs and then answer these questions.
- Do you really know what your limiting beliefs are?
- Do you know where they came from?
- Do you know how they started?
- Do you know when they started?
They sound simple enough questions right, but when you start to think about the answers suddenly they are not so easy, but then I don’t ask easy questions.
We all have limiting beliefs. We all believe there are things that we cannot do or goals that we cannot achieve but generally these beliefs are unfounded because we have never actually put ourselves to the test to see exactly what we are capable of. The reason we never have tried is because we have already unconsciously decided that we are not worthy enough, not good enough, that we will fail and we can never be successful.
Quite often these ideas begin when you are very young and often stay with you throughout your life and can certainly restrict the quality of your life. You can change that by following these 5 Steps.
Firstly make a list all of your limiting beliefs, they may sound something like –
- I can’t do it because……
- I’m not good enough because……
- I’m not smart enough……
- Nobody will like me because……
- I cant speak to that person because…….
These are just a few but make a good long list of all of your limiting beliefs.
Now ask yourself “Why do I believe that” in relation to each point.
Is it because – (these are just a few suggestions)
- That’s what you were told when you were younger.
- Because you have been scared to try and have now made that fear a reality.
- Because you were hurt by someone else and now believe that everyone else will hurt you.
- Because you were bullied.
- Because the fear of failure is unbearable.
Oh and for the record, the answer “I don’t know” is not acceptable. Think harder, search deeper, sure it may be painful; yes it may open some old wounds but now is an opportunity to heal those wounds properly and change your mind-set forever.
Now that you have identified the limiting belief and where it came from you have an opportunity to change it because you have now exposed the unconscious belief and made it conscious. When you do that you have the ability to deal with it and have have greater control of it.
Now that you can see your limiting beliefs in black and white you can decide whether you want to continue to allow them to affect your life.
Start working your way through each belief and ask yourself “Do I still believe this is true and do I want to allow it to control my life”.
Hopefully the answer is NO and that means you can start to take action to change those beliefs.
Next to each negative belief I want you to create an opposite/positive belief. You can do this as a form of affirmation. Here is an example –
Limiting belief – I really want to start my own business but I know that it will fail because I am not good enough or smart enough.
New Belief – I really want to start my own business and I know that with hard work I can make it successful because I believe in myself and I am capable of making my dreams come true.
What you need to do is change the tape, when you hear the old voice saying something negative you need to take it out and throw it in the trash and replace it with the new positive message you have created for yourself. You may have to do this several times until the message becomes part of your new positive unconscious belief system, and that’s OK because practice makes perfect, so the more you do it the quicker you will see results.
Now that you are aware of what those beliefs are and where they came from you can drawer a line in the sand and refuse to allow them to affect you. Remember you are the Director in your life you don’t need to be an extra.
Remember you can do it.
Now that you have identified and understand your beliefs, know where they came from and why, have realised that you don’t have to believe them any more and have created a new positive belief its time to take action. Here’s how –
- Decide on one issue you want to work on.
- Create an action plan. (ask yourself what do I want to achieve and how can I do it. Make a list of positive steps you can take towards changing that belief. This includes doing the thing you are scared of)
- Take one small action every day without fail.
- Regardless of the success of that action do it again tomorrow.
- Remember what worked well and repeat it.
Here is an example of how to create your action plan. Imagine this is the scenario – You find it difficult talking to new people in social situations.
- Each day you must speak to at least one new person. You can ask a stranger for the time or directions, tell someone that they have an adorable dog, at this point it really doesn’t matter what you say.
- Dont worry about their response. This isn’t about them. You have no control over anyone else’s actions.
- Praise yourself for doing it.
- Do it again tomorrow and the next day until you feel comfortable speaking to someone you dont know.
- When you are comfortable doing that try and engage in conversation. Most people who have a dog or a child will love to stop for a minute to talk about them so that’s always a good starting point.
- Dont expect anything. Dont worry about what you will say or how you will sound. DONT judge yourself because they are not judging you even though you think they are.
- You can even create a chart with a list of daily actions and then tick them off so you can see your progress.
- When you feel comfortable in that situation take it to the next level, perhaps talking to someone in a bar or a party. Step outside of your comfort zone a bit. Dont forget you will already be more confident because of the actions you taken previously.
- Remember when you feel comfortable and confident at the level you are at take it up a notch and remember nothing bad is going to happen. Even if someone doesn’t speak to you that is about them not about you. Just keep going and try again.
I know what your thinking. This is a lot of work! Well nobody said it was going to be easy but focus on the end result. You have to put the work in now so that you can benefit from it in the future. You cant build a house without first laying the foundations other wise your house is going to collapse. Building your confidence is exactly the same (hence the use of the word building). Take it day at a time and as long as you are being proactive then you cant lose.
Remember you are worth the effort and at the end of it you will reap the rewards my friend.